Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween aftermath!

I somehow missed Halloween completely this year - it's the sad but true story of a girl who stayed in to sleep and recuperate from a week of little/no sleep :P

But I was reading Alan Knox's blog, and he was describing a list of 10 things that scared him, including vampires, werewolves and the like. I was about to glance pa
st it into the next blog when I read this line:
Masks. These are truly scary. I mean, the face on the outside is scary enough, but who knows what the face underneath looks like? The face underneath is the one that I’m scared of.
That hit me. I mean, sure, werewolves and vampires might kill you (if they exist), but I actually think they're kinda cool. I can totally relate to wanting to suck
people's blood :P But masks - this is what kills you while you're alive, stabs you in the back and leaves your writhing in agony without knowing what or why you got hit in the first place.

I find myself sliding behind masks all the time. I'm not very good at wearing them - my eyes normally do a good job of giving away how I feel. So here's a few masks that I most commonly use:

The Devil's Advocate
I probably use this mask the most. It gives me a confidence that I sometimes do not feel, and its strong front protects me fro
m all injuries that might occur in the process. Its fierce features are used to intimidate others who are around me, but the biggest backlash comes from being known as an unf
eeling, horrible person. Which I am, of course.

The Jester
This mask I use in front of relatives and people whom I want to like me. You see, my logic is - if I can't be smart and I can't be strong/powerful, then I can at least be the fool. Anything to make them laugh. Unfortunately, it sometimes doesn't turn out too well and people just get a huge shock instead...

Expressionless face
When someone catches m
e unaware or asks too personal a question, this filter mask instantly slides into place. Really useful when someone wants to probe into your personal secrets....

So there you have it - The top three masks that I find myself frequently using. I'm not proud of it, but they're facades that I find myself slipping into every day, to keep myself within my comfort zone. What about you? What masks to you wear?

But I'm wondering if, at the end of the day when I wipe off all my masks, this is who I see:

This - Just another twisted soul that's been mutilated through time.

[random musings] But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance,but the LORD looks on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7) How can God see my heart and still love me? That's just not possible... [/random musings]

Pictures thanks to brilliantgameologists.com, vampfangs.com, scaredshitless.wordpress.com and costumzee.com

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